Today has been a hard day (09/05/2025)
Why is it that a decision that you have made a thousand times that didn't carry much consequence become a life defining moment?
Why does the weight of this decision carry heavier repercussions?
Do we live in a universe based on Dungeons and Dragons rules? We roll the dice to see the outcome. 99 out of 100 the consequences are minimal and that 1 time when it all falls apart?
Or is our universe guided by general probability where the impossible can occasionally happen?
All I know in my short existence is that these types of days feel different. There is a unique feeling about them that is not present during the normal roll of the dice days. Anxiety feels slightly elevated. The itch to get out of my skin is more irritating. The smell in the air, the taste of food all seems strange. Everything is heightened and wrong.
Then it happens. The decision that you have made a thousand times creates a new landscape of broken dreams and relationships.
That is one possibility.
Good things can occur too. The same rules of probability apply. 99 times of failure or no results can resonate into a possibility of success.
The fun part about probability is that it also occurs to humans. 99 of them have dark and rainy clouds surrounding them while 1 person always seems to come out on top.
For me, lately, the clouds don't seem to let up. Today has been a hard day.
Each day I wake up and do my best.
